Hueco Mundo for dummies
by misuto58
Summary: Some more people go to heuco mundo and screw up everything.


_**authors note: I do not own bleach or its characters. Nor do I own anything else I may use that belongs to other people. You know what I mean. I said the disclaimer now you can't sue me.:P**  
_

_Just another day, how boring lets see. I can watch Bleach until they come. No, no that's mean they'll get angry. _

I let out an irritated sigh waiting for my slow friends to walk up the long path to my house and past my enormous field that we call my yard. I ran to the window, still no one. I looked in the mirror next to it and adjusted my ear length brown hair, and then fiddled with my gray and black polka dotted skirt and tank top. I slumped myself back onto the couch annoyed by the silence.

"Fudge it, I never said I was a saint." I blurted out reaching for my X-box controller and clicking on the bleach episode where Aizen betrays the soul society. I watched happily eyeing the swords clash and the blood pour. I just can't help it so I grabbed my katana that I made out of wood and started acting like I was really fighting by Aizens side.

"No one has filled the void of the heavens not you nor I not even the gods, but I will rise up and become a god. " I spoke proudly following the screen.

_Man I'm a true nerd_

I stood tall and jumped off my couch flying through the air but I lost my balance on the landing and hit head first into the mirror blacking out.

My eyes fluttered open to a headache and a white everywhere. I noticed a small pool of blood forming underneath me.

"Holy crap I'm in heaven, but wait a minute I'm bleeding am I in limbo?" I blurted out.

I shifted in the soft white sheets of the bed trying to remember what happened.

_Lets see I was watching Bleach, acting like an idiot and fighting with the imaginary dog captain, and hit my head. Maybe I'm still asleep._

I pinched myself to make sure.

_Well I ain't sleeping_

I stood and took in the room.

"This a hospital or something? Nurse! Is anyone here hello, nurse!."I shouted with no response. "Dang, might as well walk around."

I walked out the door and was greeted by bright white halls stinging my eyes. I walked around for a while and started to get tired. I got so bored I started singing a song that went to the tune of London bridge that I made up.

"London bridge has fallen down, turn that frown, upside down, London bridge has fallen down my fair lady.

Build it up with blood and bone, replace stone, blood and bone, build it up with blood and bone my fair lady.

Have the townsmen come and see, they'll all flee, oh dear me, have the townsmen come and see my fair lady.

All the hero's have all fled, now they're dead, twas on their head, all the hero's have all fled my fair lady.

London bridge has fallen down, crushed the town, they all drowned, London bridge has fallen down my fair lady." I sang with glee and afterwards giggled like mad.

I heard someone whisper behind me a ways.

I turned around to see someone standing far enough away I could only see blue hair and white clothes.

"Hello?! Are you with hospital staff or a patient or something?" I asked clueless to the situation.

The man approached revealing a creepy and familiar face. He walked right up to me and glared.

"And just how did you get here?" He hissed.

"Oh, god. Okay, um I can explain. I uh, maybe I can't."I stuttered. "I don't know how I got here, I passed out and woke up here."

"Like I believe that shit! I bet you're one of those soul reapers!"

"No, wait please don't kill me! I'm not a soul reaper! Honest, Grimmjow I'm not!"

"How the hell did you know my name?"

"Shit. Um."

_What do I say? Oh yeah you're a cartoon! No!_

"Hello? Did you hear what the fuck I just said?"

"I know Ichigo Kurosaki!" I said quickly.

"You know that Ichigo kid, like that whiny bitch we have cooped up in here?"

"You mean, Oriheme?"

"Yeah, whatever the hell her name is."

"Her names Oriheme get it right." I said sternly.

"As far as I know she's just a prisoner like you're gonna be, so until you both can grow a pair and get in the damn army I'm gonna call you whatever I want!"

"You have no idea how hard I'm going to laugh when,"

"What did you say?"He asked menacingly.

"Oh, you'll find out later."

The scene of Grimmjow being beat shitless by Ichigo ran through my head as a smirk shown on my lips. Which by the way gave Grimmjow the perfect opportunity to capture me.

* * *

_Just great. Just freaking great! My wrists are starting to hurt from this stupid wire he put around them and I can't whine about it. Where in Kubo's name did he find duct tape and why didn't he use it on my wrists! He did them up too tight. Now all I can focus on is the heart beat I can feel in them. _

The door to the meeting room squeaked open as it went silent inside. _  
_

"Grimmjow, who is this girl?" Aizen asked right away.

"Hell if I know, but she seems to know a lot of shit about us." Grimmjow explained.

"Unbind her, if you would."

Grimmjow did as told and took his seat. Aizen then stood and walked up to me.

"will you tell me your name?" He asked.

"Shoakuma."I said quickly.

"I see, do you know ours?"

"Lets see, Aizen, Gin, Tosen, Stark, Barragon, Halibel, Ulquiorra, Nnoitra, Grimmjow, Zommari, Szayelapparo, Aaroniero, and Yammy."I said while pointing to each one.

"You have excellent knowledge."

"Please, that's not even half of it."

Aizen smiled. "Would you like to stay here until we can send you back to your home?"

"Look that sounds nice and everything, but seeing as how you pretty much screwed over the Soul Society, I don't want the same done to me. Thank you."

He raised an eyebrow as if confused.

"Puzzled? I know how you lied to them and betrayed them. As well as that I know you'll only want to use me as a pawn for being ahead of them and then kill me as soon as I become useless. No point in lying."

"My, you are knowledgeable aren't you?"

_Wait, I'm not dead. He's not pissed?!_

"So, what's it gonna be? Am I a prisoner or dead meat?"

"You will be treated as a guest. I'm not so heartless as you may think I am. My purpose is to ensure a better world."

"Hello, Adolf."I let out a small chuckle.

"Pardon?"

"Nothing, nothing."

"I would watch what you say, Shoakuma."

At that I gave a bow and kept my mouth shut. He gave a slight nod, satisfied.

"Grimmjow, you will be her sitter until I find out what to do with her."

"What?! But I'm not a babysitter!" Grimmjow complained.

"Your humor is similar, I figure you can keep each other sane." Aizen said smugly.

"Fine, where's her room?"

"You have one don't you?"

"Shit."

* * *

"Ahahahahahahahaha!"

"Would you stop laughing!?"

"I can't believe you have that!" I cried out in laughs.

"It was Nnoitra's idea of a prank, okay?!" Grimmjow yelled.

Glued right above his bed, was a cat hanging from a tree that said 'Hang in there baby.'

"What did you do to him?" I asked.

"All I did was, tell Hallibel a joke, he said."

"Was the joke perverted?"

"Yeah." Grimmjow said rubbing his head.

"Let me guess he got the crap beat out of him?"

"No, his clothes were dyed pink."

"bedazzled too?"

"Yeah."

"Oh my gosh! I wish I could have seen that!"

"It was hilarious! We called him Szayels clone for the rest of the day!"

We both laughed at the thought, until of course the door slammed open. Guess who. Nnoitra along with Tesla was standing in the doorway to see Grimmjow sitting on the couch and I rolling on the floor laughing my butt off still.

"What perfect timing!" I laughed.

"I heard my name, what are you going on about?" Nnoitra asked.

I just answered with another laugh, leaving Grimmjow to come up with a story.

"Shoakuma, was just talking about what an ass you are." Grimmjow said with a devilish grin.

"What?!" I yelled. "No I,"

"Oh? Is that right?"Nnoitra hissed.

"No! It's not what it sounds like! Grimmjow was the one who,"

"I don't care who started it, no damn woman is gonna talk bad about me!"

"Calm down, You're the coolest spoon, Ak! I mean you're the coolest dude! I, uh... Crap."

"What the fuck did you just call me?!"

"Ah! I didn't call you anything! You're awesome! Don't hurt me!"

Nnoitra just sent me an angry glare and muttered some curses while reaching for his scythe.

"Wait a minute Nnoitra, you can't hurt her or I'm dead. Hey you listening?!"Grimmjow tried to reason.

Nnoitra was just slowly walking towards me raising his scythe. That's when I went running out the door.

"Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap!Crap! Crap!Crap!CRAP!" I yelled running down the long white hall.

"Tesla! You idiot catch her!" Nnoitra demanded.

"Fuck! Why me!?"

No where else to go I slipped into another room not caring what it was.

* * *

Stopping at the door Nnoitra, Tesla, and Grimmjow had a look of worry cross their face.

"Tesla you go in." Nnoitra ordered.

"Why? Are you too chicken shit to go in?" Grimmjow taunted.

"Who are you to call names?! You ain't going in!" Nnoitra yelled.

"Well one of us has to get her." Grimmjow stated.

"Hey, where is Tesla?"

"Don't know, don't care."

"You should, he could have gone in for us."

"You're starting to sound like a pussy."

"Who you calling a pussy, Kitty?"

"Now we're both just stalling."

"Screw it, I'll beat her later. I'm finding Tesla."

"Hey come back here!"

Suddenly the door opened as a cascade of screams flew down the hall along with a blur of color.

"Aaaaaaah! Stay away! Stay away! Stay away!" I screamed flying down the hall.

Not caring to look in front of me, I crashed into a certain someone.

"Wahaha! That hurt!" I wined.

Looking at who I fell onto I almost wanted to have crashed into the person who I had ran into not even a moment ago.

"Ah! Nnoitra!?"

"Now where did my little specimen go off to?" I heard a creepy voice call.


End file.
